Broken Images, All Alike

Midday pick me up

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 19:49:21 -0500

Today I traded in the regular coffee maker for a Chemex. Rather than drinking six mediocre cups of coffee each morning, I'm cutting back to a single good cup of coffee.

My counter is now as empty as my heart.

2011

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 21:40:14 -0500

Because I like to be nostalgic about the past, here's a look at 2011 in pictures, a time when we were younger, happier, and Corwin's hair was still blowing in the wind.

Went to the beach!

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 22:03:08 -0500

Sunny day! It seemed like a good idea to drive down to the beach today.

Unfortunately, the beach was taken over by waves. And the wind, god, the wind was so cold it took your breath away.

For most of the day the wind howled and Ryder howled right back. We had a very howl-y day.

Puppy Book!

Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:42:34 -0500

Yay! So I put together a book of doggy pictures. Ryder is super-excited about it. Go look!

Happy Old Year

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 23:06:54 -0500

So a whole year passed, kids! What the hell have you been up to? Me? Same old, same old:

Spent a month on the road with the dog. Got a house. Posted my penis on teh Internets. Sigh. Some things never change.

It's been a happy year and a sad year. Just like most years. For one thing, I had a complete breakdown over wedding photos. But on the upside, I taught the dog to roll over.

I've been thinking a lot about cats.

Hillside

Sun, 31 Jul 2011 09:34:55 -0500

Hillside felt like a rebirth.

And it's not just because Keren and I swam naked to the middle of the lake on that hot Sunday, floating lazily while ferries zoomed by, and wondered if anyone was going to steal our clothes...

But pretty much everything else also felt fresh and new.

I learned about raising chickens -- animal husbandry plans now officially under way. And I got a puppet named George, who's drunk and lecherous and too much like me.

And of course, the music was all new, all startling -- whole new unexplored soundscape. As it turns out, the kids are all right. They play waltzes sardonically nowadays and they sound pretty good.

[flickr]

Look out Mountain, Look out Sea

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 14:56:27 -0500

Yes! I spent three weeks on the road, sleeping in tents and running through forests. Fantastic!

Ryder and I first headed for the White Mountains. So many peeks to climb, so much forest to explore with puppies. After days of spiraling through forests and streams and getting eaten alive by bugs, we went for a drive up Mt. Washington. I was skeptical about going up there.

"Too much of a tourist trap," I told the dog. "It's probably not going to be any fun for you at all."

But once we accelerated up the steep incline the forests disappeared and were replaced by tundra -- no trees just moss growing between rocks. Up there the wind was a hurricane and everything glittered in the sunshine. Each way you looked mountains floated on forever. Whee! So steep, so gorgeous.

And the wind had bite -- it was almost punishing. I pulled up my nylon Costco pants and windbreaker. The pants are black and shiny. Then I skipped with Ryder down the mountain like a warehouse Ninja. The dog leaped from one crumbling crag to another and we found lakes melting in the sky.

Still zooming with excitement on the way down we ran into some hitchhikers. This guy Bear and his girl like to go up mountains. There were signs saying not to pick up hitchhikers. So we gave them a ride. They told us about the climb.

"All of it was awesome," he said. Ryder and I are totally hiking up Mt. Washington next year.

...

By the time we drove into the Bay of Fundy a few days later, an inflammation the size of a baseball was eating my left ankle. I must have twisted my ankle something awful on one of the hikes. Thus, for most of the time we spent at Fundy I happily hopped around on one leg.

The tent was also vertically challenged. One of the support beams snapped in half in the middle of the night. The humidity probably got to it. For the whole week we were there an incredible wall of fog covered the land and the nights tasted like rain.

It took a while longer to learn to love Fundy. Unlike the mountains that are screaming excitement, Fundy is subtler. It wasn't until I spent a day on the beach and watch the tides move in and out that I was struck. So much heaving water. A 17m wall of water moves in and out every six hours. Rivers disappear and then form again.

The last night on the Bay of Fundy I celebrated by drinking a bottle of Port in my floppy tent with the dog. The dog celebrated by chewing a big rawhide bone.

"Baw-wow, crunch-crunch," Ryder said, which probably means "sweet, sweet bone" where she's from.

I promised her a bigger bone next year if she climbs up a mountain.

[flick]

Yay for new house!

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 08:56:02 -0500

The storm started as soon as I finished moving into the new house. It rained buckets.

Most of those buckets ended up in my basement.

"The basement is so damp and full of leaks I can run a mushroom farm down there," I told Keren. I love fungi because I'm a fun guy.

"You'll need to get some logs," she said. "Mushrooms love logs. But you should probably clean up the basement instead."

Home ownership has been crazy so far. I was planning to move in and paint some walls. Easy stuff. Instead, I've been living in my basement for a week killing mould, ripping out flooring, and filling cracks with hydraulic cement.

I'd say I've been living a dog's life, except the dog has it pretty awesome here. She loves sleeping in the yard, digging holes, and all that good stuff. Now I only have to train her to do basement waterproofing.

The Puppy's Guide to Hunting and Fishing

Sun, 08 May 2011 08:29:44 -0500

Ryder has always admired trains from the distance -- so shiny, so fast, their howl so much more piercing than her own. Yesterday she got to ride in the belly of the beast.

We got train tickets from Port Stanley to St. Thomas. Ryder got to ride for free. The train line is called L&PS. "It stands for Late and Poor Service," joked the conductor. Except that it wasn't a joke. He really didn't like dogs; he only let them on the train grudgingly.

The train shook as it left the station. It whistled. Ryder had a brief moment of panic. "Whee for choo-choos," I said, lifting her on the sit next to mine. She calmed down pretty soon after that and acted like a proper furry human the rest of the ride.

After the train ride, we went to howl at elephants (creatures who also have a complicated relationship with trains).

March...

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 21:21:18 -0500

Not much happened. Bought a house ... stage managed a play ... planned trips to Halifax.

And now, spring.

My Old Girl

Sat, 26 Feb 2011 21:15:44 -0500

Ryder is nearly five years old. I call her puppy, but I guess she's old in dog years -- all the other puppies probably think she's over the hill.

When I got her four years ago, I didn't really like her. She was a little savage, and I wanted a calm, indifferent coonhound. But she was also kinda cute and needy so she grew on me.

But even though she's old, she's still trouble.

She's getting me evicted.

Turns out she likes to howl when I'm not home. She's a hound. Her howls disturb my unemployed neighbours and the shady businesses downstairs.

"We have to do something about your dog," the landlord said. "I don't know what."

I told him I'm moving. Now when I'm at work, I make Ryder scour the Pennysaver for a place to live. I'll let her sniff out the next place. I guess she's old enough to make her own decisions now.

The Meat Does the Thinking

Thu, 23 Dec 2010 19:19:13 -0500

Ryder and I drove to the vast, white North for Meat Rainbow festivities last weekend.

"Listen Ryder, everyone is made out of meat," I said. "Meat and deliciousness." Ryder put on her Santa hat and we feasted like kings. We also pretended to be peasants in an agrarian age. Yes!

It's funny seeing people at Meat Rainbows over the years. Everyone is getting married, having children, finishing PhDs. Shit is getting pretty real. We are all gazing into the past and into the future through some sort of curtain made out of meat.

So, this would be a good time to look back at the year. Considering that 2009 was the shittiest of years, 2010 was just spectacular:

Moved above a hair salon. The lady downstairs cuts my hair and tells me I'm balding.
Babysat a giant furball for a few months.
Went on roadtrips with puppies. Camped in the mountains.
Visited Sarah and oceans. The wind rushed across empty beaches blinding us.
Turned 30. Got a new twodoor Tudor car all in an effort to avoid a midlife crisis.
New friends. That girl Keren cracks me up. Annia helped me shoot weddings!
Sherry and Regan got married. And I cried almost the entire time.
My dream of living in a trailer park came true.
Grew a badass moustache for movember.

And if that's no awesome enough, the couch I ordered online from Costco finally arrived. It is also my new bed. Let's have sleepovers!

The war on the car is over

Sun, 05 Dec 2010 00:54:58 -0500

...and that's pretty well it.

Let's Go

Sun, 21 Nov 2010 23:19:56 -0500

Snuck out of work and drove down to the beach. Glorious fog. The puppy loves fog and empty beaches. She ran in and out of the waves.

November

Sun, 14 Nov 2010 22:43:52 -0500

I went back to Guelph to see Joel Plaskett in concert. So different, unexpected. No band. Seeing just a man with six guitars on stage is oddly unsettling. And he stuttered, he roared, he stumped his feet -- he was glamorous and sad and everybody sang the chorus lines.

I'm the Berlin wall, I'm a communist.
You're a wrecking ball in a summer dress

You never wore summer dresses.

In a few days I'm getting rid of your couch and bed. These are the last pieces of furniture left from that wonderful wreck. The chairs, the tables, they've all departed. It took too long. But the couch replacement is now in the mail. And once the bed is gone I'm sleeping on the floor.

Plaskett. Sherry and Regan got married. It was beautiful and I was an emotional mess the entire day. Their first dance was Plaskett's Nowhere with You. Man, those kids have great moves. By the end of the night everything felt unreal and happy, happy, happy. There was cake and pie. And the morning was a whirlwind of storms and industrial wastelands. Perfect.

There was an encore and then another, and I skipped out in the crisp November night. Tra la la.