Let's Dance Around The Issue

Let’s Dance Around The Issue

December 16, 2009

I love December. The fucking cold, the endless nights leave room for enjoyable activities such as: taking flu medication, dashing through the snow, self-doubting, pity parties.

Speaking of which, we’re seriously overdue for a pity party. Pity parties are fun — I’ll start!

Here’s my life right now:

I’ll be 30 soon. That’s old.
I live alone in a musky basement with my dog.
Most of my meals consist entirely of cheese. And chocolate.
Am I too fat? Is my ass too big? Why don’t my pants fit?
My god, am I going bald already? Is that why she left?
The dog stained the bed with her bum last week and I keep putting off changing the sheets.
I drink alone and post dirty pictures of myself on teh internets.
I don’t floss.
My day job is to help people; I can’t even help myself.
I now idle my car in the morning because I’m too lazy to scrape the windshield.
I’m emotionally scarred and needy.

This could go on for a while, but we’d better save some for tomorrow. Your turn…

Posted by Tudor at 09:17 PM in Various Positions | TrackBack

Comments

Well, at least you ain’t ugly… Shall I invite you over and feed you salad and fruit? (:

Don’t worry. Chris hit 40 this fall. Console yourself with the fact that you’ll *never* be as old as him ;p

(points 3 and 4 might be answers to each other… just so you know)

Posted by: spindriftdancer on December 16, 2009 at 10:50 PM

I’m going to punch you for thinking you’re fat. If you’re fat, what am I, hm?

The rest of it.. this isn’t the right place to comment on it.

Posted by: Sarah on December 16, 2009 at 10:58 PM

You really should change the bum smeared sheets.

Would you like me to make cupcakes for your next pity party? I am not sure what pity party cupcakes would look like exactly, but I am sure I could manage. It would also help to incorporate variety into your diet (as my cupcakes do not typically include cheese).

Posted by: Megan on December 17, 2009 at 02:22 AM

Pity parties are overrated…why not instead come to a real party. In Toronto. Saturday, if you’re free. :)

Posted by: Karen on December 17, 2009 at 10:43 AM

Well, as a Phil Hendrie character once said, “at least I’m hot-looking!”

Posted by: Jin on December 17, 2009 at 03:27 PM

I don’t know if you know this, but there’s a smiling pig on your head! It was really good to see you yesterday - come visit us in Toronto sometime!

Posted by: Dave on December 20, 2009 at 11:39 PM

you could totally be writing about my party.. except I’m old(er) and not going bald. as far as I can tell.
~K

Posted by: Kel on December 21, 2009 at 10:41 PM

Tudor what a shitty year you had. I hope 2010 is much better.

Posted by: Erica on January 08, 2010 at 07:23 AM