Nothing Could Make This More Awkward Except …
October 18, 2007
Tuesday was the day I got up naked on tables in front of a room-full of strangers. They stared, then dropped their heads in unison and drew my genitals. I do this with some regularity, but this time, being a nude model was made even more awkward by the scabs and bruises covering one half of my body.
You see, a day earlier I decided to take my dog on a bike ride. Ryder loves bike rides. She also loves leaping up at people and biting their faces. This is exactly what she was about to do to two unsuspecting ladies, when, in an effort to restrain her, I leaped from my moving bike seat and landed in a bloodied heap on the ground.
Everybody laughed and laughed. And next day, with half of the muscles in my body ripped from their place, I was gingerly trying to shape myself into something meaningful. I guess that makes me a fucking martyr for art.
Oh, and my dog is insane. Look!
I think all dogs are insane. I tried to ride my bike with my dog once but he kept trying to run right in front of my front tire and he never seemed to understand why this was a bad idea.. even though I nearly ran him over a dozen times. I also tried rollerblading with him, but actually did run him over when we did that.
Ryder is really cute, so I think that makes her insanity okay.
Back in college, I used to model for art classes as well. I think the most embarrassing class I ever posed for was the one I went to after racquetball class. At the time, I was the only girl playing in the upper division, and I had endured a pretty brutal match that day, where my opponent and I had several instances of physical contact and racquet-to-skin contact due to the fast-paced game. I walked into the art class covered in welts and a few scrapes only to find my racquetball opponent seated at a desk at the front of the class- with a wicked grin on his face.
He chose that day to use pastels to empasize the lovely coloring of the bruises he had left.
Posted by: JJ on October 21, 2007 at 02:22 PMHey did you guys get my housewarming invite? We really hope you can make it.
Posted by: Sherry on October 24, 2007 at 10:25 AM