August 04, 2007

Say that you have a week to travel around the province with your puppy and your girl. Then this is what you should do:

• Head east and caress cocks in Utopia (hint, Sherry has a large collection of cocks of various sizes in her kitchen).
• Visit the Jesus of the telephone booth. He resides in a run-down mall in Barrie.
• Fear pink robots in empty corn fields on stormy evenings.
• Visit Ottawa and seek out hidden tunnels, monstrous spiders, and phallic towers.
• Go to Montreal on rainy days for a doze of homoerotic imagery, candle burning, sadness, and magic.

The trip will be a blur of awesome. And in case you need more details, here’s your itinerary.