How To Cuddle
January 27, 2006
After the sweat and the orgasms, when your naked body tingles all over and you purr in her arms like a shameless cat, turn your head slightly and look into her eyes with a crazy smile on your face.
“What are you thinking about?” she’ll want to know.
Tell her, “Greg Smith.”
There’s a great stickiness between you now, holding your bodies together. It’s as though your loins melted away in a wave of agony.
“Do you always think about Greg Smith while we’re having sex?” she’ll ask.
“No. Just now. I had a staggering vision of his ponytail and then the entire world broke to pieces.”
“I worry about you sometimes.”
“What?!” You’ll ask. “Do you never think about Greg Smith while we’re making love?”
She’ll admit that she doesn’t, though you suspect she’s probably lying. For the next 20 minutes you’ll squirm under her trying to explain how the ponytail just came to the edge of your consciousness and how the whole world was wrapped up in it. She’ll tickle you savagely, unfairly, and it will be great.
Posted by Tudor at 11:56 PM in How To | TrackBackTudor, you just made my day…it was a great laugh.
Posted by: Captain Poultry on January 28, 2006 at 12:10 AMBest. Post. Ever!
I will never look at greg smith the same again. Or you and laura, for that matter.
Posted by: IKABOD on January 28, 2006 at 12:23 AMAnd the best (?) part is that it’s a jizzilion percent truth.
Yep, that’s pretty much how it happened, word for word, and it made just as much sense then. Sherry, you probably would have heard us laughing from the next room.
And wow, I laughed out loud, heartily (in this basement office), almost as much as I laughed then (naked and slap-tickling you)!
Tudor, that pic you chose for the first ‘Greg Smith’ is, oh wow, so freaking purrfect. Made my day too.
Seriously though, best post ever.
Posted by: Laura on January 28, 2006 at 12:39 AMWell now I’m never going to be able to have sex without thinking of Greg Smith. Thanks a lot.
Seriously.
Posted by: corwin on January 28, 2006 at 01:57 AMHey! Me too!
Hmmm. I once knew a Greg Smith, but it isn’t the same Greg Smith, thankfully. If it was then I’d be *really* worried about you Tudor. As it is, your Greg Smith isn’t a slimy git who likes to date Catholic schoolgirls half his age… And his ponytail looks clean and well-cared-for.
All in all, not the worst sort of strangeness to intrude on an intimate moment(: Brains are funny things, no?
Posted by: spindriftdancer on January 28, 2006 at 04:02 PMnever shall I doubt the post-coital powers of greg’s ponytail.
Posted by: sra on January 28, 2006 at 11:15 PM