October 13, 2005

I know you all want to make those knees jerk. If you have a radio show, you can start by defending an unpopular opinion like that of Mr. Weinberg who wrote that all Laurier girls are promiscuous by nature. Everyone knows that unpopular opinions have no merit and shouldn’t be defended. “I think it’s a good article,” say.

Hell, go a step further and try to create a dialogue around the issue. Invite two girls into the studio who feel that the article encourages sexual assault and talk with them about sexual behaviours.

If you really want to be outrageous, explain your own sexual motivations in an honest and straightforward way. Say things like “I like sex” and “Guys want to get laid.”

By the end of the hour-long interview, your guests will be so offended by your views they’ll immediately go and launch a complaint against your show, which will be taken off the air that same evening. You’ll all be fired and censored, and because nobody heard the show they’ll assume you made grown women cry on the air.

At least, that’s what we all thought until this morning, when the censored tape of the now cancelled Talking-Trash show surfaced on the internet. The transcript for the show is now online. For your listening pleasure, I also prepared a short sample of the hour-long broadcast (or if you have the time you can download the entire show).

I expected the DJs to be far more belligerent. Instead, they were trying to have a frank discussion about sex and how people hump each other in bars. Emma McFarlane, who was fired immediately after the taping of the show, went as far as to suggest that girls are not naive — they don’t instantly spread their legs when you show them a pretty poster. Indeed, they’re often as willing to have sex as guys are.

Heresy! Good thing nobody listened to her. Girls are vulnerable and should wear iron underwear. Thank God for WLUSU’s instinctive knee-jerk reaction. Not only did they prevent thousands of virgins from being seduced, but they also protected our ears from mildly controversial stuff.