April 08, 2005

Though you didn’t go to her party, Carly still gave you a pink shirt that makes you feel more manly than you really are. Today you’re seeing Laura — dress in pink. And after drinks on patios, kisses on street corners, and trips to candle shops, tell her to take you down to the river. In the spring, the river billows and froths like a mad creature lashing out in the wilderness. Though not exactly pink, the water’s madness resembles your own.

Flail your arms in the car while shouting directions: “Go! Now! Right!” You have no idea how fucking annoying that is. Before reaching the river, make one last stop at Canadian Tire to pick up rubber boots. Girls look as sexy in rubber boots as you do in pink shirts. Kiss her again in the aisle, knocking over bicycles and salesmen — be the new pink menace.

Once you get to the river, let it seduce you with its murky and wondrous depth. “In the spring, rivers are meant to be explored naked,” say while rushing through layers of mud to find a quiet riverbank where you can strip off your pink shirt and lie in the grass among the geese crap. The breeze will make your toes curl in delight, and the sound of rushing waters will make you plant wet, sloppy kisses on her neck. Seduce her with your wetness.

And then fumble with her bra until she’s as naked as you are and die just a little when she presses her warmth against yours, skin touching skin. Breasts are more lovely and inviting in the sunlight.

Freedom. Smiles. Erections.

Hold her in your arms and listen to the river moan besides you. Find her ears and whisper great stories of being a boy and masturbating in the wilderness. She’ll laugh and make caterpillars crawl across your belly and nipples and the whole world will rise in a flood of passion. Her hand will find your cock and again you’ll feel compelled to shout instructions: “Squeeze harder! Like that!” After violent pumping and wet kisses and squirts of hot liquid over bellies and hands, sigh and listen to the river’s moans. Your cum will seem as angry and foamy as the waters.

Grab the nearest pink t-shirt and wipe yourself clean, leaving suspicious white stains on the fabric. When you see Carly again, you’ll have to explain the mud and the stains on her pink t-shirt, but until then hold your girl in your arms and dream about rivers.