January 27, 2005

It’s a shitty day. Run around the campus touching people — it will make you feel better.

When you see Shrish in the morning let her tug your nipples and then find a comfy couch where you can talk about girls for a while.

Let Jeff touch your hand in the afternoon. He’s around only for one day to receive an award for being smart. Say something witty about his sexy sweaters.

Kiss Jason on the cheek in the evening. Today he’s wearing a cape and talking about trips to Antarctica. He giggles when your lips touch him and his cape flutters like some sort of living thing. “Why must you tease me like this?” he says.

And after all that, rush into the Student Publications office to find Corwin smirking on a couch. He was supposed to be in the Netherlands. Touch him repeatedly to make sure he’s still real and then go out for beer. For a moment you forget he’s an asshole and yearn to cradle him in your arms. You’re so glad to see him you spend the next two hours playing Scrabble with him.

And when you go home late at night you can touch yourself too. After all, you are also people.